


One Track Heart

by autumndynasty



Category: Princess Tutu
Genre: Character Study, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Fairy Tales, POV Female Character, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-22
Updated: 2011-12-22
Packaged: 2017-10-27 18:33:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/298783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumndynasty/pseuds/autumndynasty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Between the End and the Epilogue, there's a lot of living to do. The princess of this fairytale needs to dream a little bigger to find her Happily Ever After.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Track Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aeriel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeriel/gifts).



> Dear Aeriel, I'm sorry I couldn't incorporate your full request but absolutely nothing sprang to mind when I thought about it, so I riffed off one of your other points. Still, I hope you like it and Happy Yuletide!

_Once upon a time in a land not so far here, there lived a beautiful princess and a handsome prince. As noble and kind as they were, they ruled over no kingdom and had no subjects to rule or dote upon, for the prince and princess had defied their fates and chosen to live solely for each other instead._

\--

The most important person in Rue’s life has always been Mytho...Siegfried, for as long as she can remember. Even the Raven, her adoptive ‘father’ can’t compare to him. He’s her alpha and omega. Always has been and always will be.

She loved him when he was both older and ageless, she loves him now they’re aging together and their lives are unfrozen from Drosselmeyer’s story, and she’ll love him when they’re old and grey, fate willing (that they grow old at least; not even fate can separate her from her prince and now she’s lived through one attempt, it’s almost certain).

Rue will love Siegfried no matter what happens to either of them, no matter what the world brings, no matter if her feelings aren’t returned. She’s lived through that too.

\--

 _One day the princess spotted a raven on a nearby fence, watching her dance with the prince. She shouted at it angrily and waved it away. As the raven flew away, the prince scolded the princess for scaring the harmless creature, for in this world ravens are just simple birds._

 _At this, the princess started to cry, lamenting that she had been afraid that it was an evil raven, like the ones that had terrorised the princess for her whole life. The prince hugged her silently and she knew he wouldn’t reprimand her for it again, for he understood her fears._

\--

Princess Tutu had terrified Rue. Her prince had changed before her eyes, with every piece of heart returned, and it seemed that the more he regained his ‘true’ self, the more he began to reject her. Prompted words of affection, placed in his mouth and parroted back were better than losing him entirely to either the Raven or the fabled new princess.

It hurt to see him pained by the pieces returned but with the insidious feeling of panic leeching into her bones by the day, it had been hard to truly think beyond her own welfare. His pale imitation of love was all she had and all she had ever wanted. She’d wanted it for almost her whole life.

It was all so _unfair_.

\--

 _One day, a yellow duck and a young writer came to visit the prince and princess. They were old friends of the couple and were welcomed gladly, for the friends had not seen each other in nearly a year. While the prince and the writer told each other of their news, the duck tugged the princess aside by her sleeve, gave her a quizzical look and quacked._

 _Knowing the duck so well, it was easy for the princess to understand what she was being asked._

 _“Of course, I’m happy,” she said. “Of course I am.”_

\--

It’s desperation, she knows. She was brought up with the constant reminder that outside of her raven father, only Mytho would love her. And it’s easy to believe. Rue knows her own flaws.

For so long, the part of her that was all raven, that sharp and jealous thorn hidden by girl-shaped petals, was convinced of her ugliness. That aside, she knows she’s short with people. She knows she’s distant. Honestly, it’s just that other people don’t matter; there’s only Mytho.

Fakir said once it was an unhealthy obsession. But he doesn’t understand. He’s loved unconditionally by a family and, when he chooses, he can be charming. Girls would trail after him or giggle in hallways. It’s not true love but it’s close enough.

He doesn’t have to fight for affection. He doesn’t have to coax longed-for words from passive lips or hope for them between mocking taunts.

It’s in the past now, but it still catches Rue by surprise whenever Siegfried tells her he loves her, unprompted.

The worst thing is the accompanying whisper of suspicion in the back of her mind.

\--

And now, a year later, they’re free of their tragic fates and she has her prince. She won him all by herself and finally her love is returned.

The problem with ‘happily ever after’ is that you have to live through it.

Rue knows her own problems. She knows she can still be cold and she’s still a little distant, even with her beloved Siegfried. She’s built him up so much and, before they could reach the ending, he let her down badly. She only has herself to blame.

Siegfried seems to know something of what she’s thinking on those days that she withdraws into her shell. He gives her space to think and, when something needs to be said, uses only the kindest, softest tones.

He never tells her she shouldn’t be blaming herself for his abuses but he doesn’t need to. The tense lines about his eyes on those bad days say enough. He tries not to reproach her anything now and that’s almost as bad.

Can’t he see that?

\--

“Ahiru has noticed you aren’t happy,” Siegfried says one day.

It’s almost unprecedented since the return of his heart, that he should be so blunt. It’s alarming.

“But I am happy!” Rue says, eyes wide, because she _is_ happy. She’s the happiest she’s ever been in her whole life. She’s with the man she’s loved since she first laid eyes on him and finally he loves her too. She has friends. She’s not trapped in tragedy.

“But you could be happier,” Siegfried says quietly.

“I’m sorry,” Rue says. She hates this, disappointing her prince. She’s done it so much; manipulating him, letting him down and wanting him all for herself, his kingdom be damned.

But she wants more. She wants peace.

Siegfried looks stricken and, before Rue can feel even worse, he wraps his arms around her and pulls Rue close.

“I should have said this sooner. I’m the one who should be sorry. And I am so very sorry, Rue, that your story thus far has been so hard and I’ve had no small part in that.”

Rue can say nothing. She doesn’t want her voice to shake.

“But I think,” The prince continues, “you’re still stuck, Rue. You’re still at the mercy of a fate others have decided for you. There’s more to this world that one person, my best beloved, and you need to start writing your own story.”

Rue sniffles into his shirt, feeling her eyes growing warm. She knows he’s right. She knows it.

“But it’s just so hard,” she says. “Where to I begin?”

“Only you can decide that,” Siegfried says, smiling gently. “There’s more to life than love. What do you dream of having?”

“Siegfried!”

“Okay, okay,” Siegfried laughs, “how about ‘Once Upon a Time’?”

Rue sighs, breath hitching only slightly, and smiles.

“Sounds good,” she says.

\--

Rue dreams of a kingdom. Nothing big, just a few miles. Or... no. Miles and miles that stretch to the horizon, an enchanting landscape full people to support, who will support her and Siegfried in return. In this she’ll achieve something to be proud of, she’s certain.

She wants a large family and to be surrounded by friends, keeping Fakir and Ahiru closest of all. She’s had enough of loneliness, self-imposed or otherwise.

She dreams of dancing and dancing until she’s worn out every single day (unless she doesn’t feel like it).

And though there’s still a long, winding road to peace of mind, Rue has a map now. She dreams of a place where all their failings can be forgiven. She dreams of the closest thing to a happily ever after it’s possible to achieve in an imperfect world.

In this new fairytale, of Rue’s creation, dreams can still come true.

They just take time and effort, that’s all.

\--

 _When next the princess saw a raven, she greeted it with an open mind and a glad heart, for the raven had forgiven her past outburst and was drawn to return by her inner light._

 _It was the light of hope where before there had been none._

**Author's Note:**

> Rue the slightly unreliable and mentally unhealthy narrator! Princess Tutu, being a fairytale-inspired story, was bound to gloss things over and give a happily-ever-after ending (and frankly, I think the characters deserve it, defying the tragic ending Drosselmeyer tried to create). But I always thought Rue was a little unhealthy and I just pulled on the strings a little ;)
> 
> Just a last note regarding Mytho's age, which I implied never changed during Drosselmeyer's story. I'm fairly sure it didn't but I don't have the series to hand and couldn't check before the Yuletide deadline. Did it ever change? Fakir and Rue just seemed to grow up around him.
> 
> I hope it wasn't too fluffy for you, Aeriel. Normally, a total lack of fluff is My Thing but I feel compelled to write hopeful endings to things at Yuletide!


End file.
